Crazy Girl

Deborah Grabien

These days when I look in the mirror
I don't understand what I see
Then I realise there are two pairs of eyes
And both of them staring at me.

One pair belongs to the old woman
With illness and age carved so deep
The other belongs to a girl I once knew
But she only survives in my sleep

And the crazy girl sits by the window and sighs
And the memories reflect like the moon in her eyes
She's hoping for answers, she'd settle for lies
Too long with her own inner violence
The crazy girl listens to silence.

Well I ask the same questions all over again
Though I know that the answers won't change
And the fact I'm expecting a different result
Just probably proves that I'm strange.

And I know that I'm luckier than I deserve
As frail and as tired as I seem
The old woman would not trade the ending she got
But the young girl's still caught in the dream

And the crazy girl sits in the corner alone
She's afraid that the answers, should they become known
Would be too much to bear and she'd sink like a stone
All the what-ifs, they roll down the years
And the crazy girl's drinking her tears.

Well she wants to go home will you let her go home
And she needs to go home will you let her go home
Oh she begs to go home will you let her go home:
But the poor crazy girl's goin' nowhere.

So we stare at each other, the young girl and I
But both of our glances are blurred
And the crazy girl's need to be visible now
Is a debt the old woman incurred.

So I hope for tomorrow as I reach for my cane
The dream fades away in the distance
But the crazy girl's desperate, she's clinging so hard
All her yesterdays locked in resistance.

And the crazy girl's trapped in a passionate dance
All the music still echoes a ghostly romance
She will will never break free, no one gave her a chance
She may live forever, or die
And the crazy girl laughs
Yes the crazy girl laughs And the poor crazy girl has forgot
How to cry.

© 2014 Deborah Grabien